SINGER Mirriam Mukape popularly known as Mampi says being single is not an illness.
Responding to queries about why she is not yet married, Mampi stated in a write up posted on her Facebook page which drew millions of likes, hundreds of shares and comments, that she would not be forced into marriage simply to please society.
An online publication had earlier run a story quoting a DJ saying Mampi was aging and should get married.
“So I have been getting a lot of people asking why I’m not married yet. And I felt like I needed to address the elephant in the room. I am certain I am not the only single woman facing such kind of pressure to get married. When are you getting married Is becoming a popular question not only to me but many other women in our society. I would have chosen to ignore this and focused on my interests but I decided to take this opportunity to speak for me and many other women who are subjected to such pressure,” Mampi says.
She says such pressures have pushed many women into marriages of convenience just for the sake of fitting in, which has usually resulted into unhappy marriages, increased numbers of divorce as well as gender based violence.
“Marriage is a beautiful thing and when one enters this institution, it must not be because society pressured them to jump in but because they found the right partner and they decided to get married. Secondly, it’s very unfair to make single women feel bad about themselves just because of their marital status, icibemba chitila ati ‘ubushimbe tebulwele’ so stop treating it as such,” Mampi says.
“As for me, I am a strong, independent, hard working woman who believes that marriage is not something you just wake up and jump into. When I do find someone I am compatible with, someone whom I share the same values with and loves me for me not because of what he saw on stage or who he thinks I am, then I will gladly do it. I will not just date or marry anybody that comes my way with a proposal to impress the society.”
She emphasises that the public should understand that life in the limelight was not for the weak at heart.
The music queen says one ought to be smart enough to know that some men would fall in love with one’s image and not a person.
“…this is one of the many reasons why I can never rush into such commitments without wisely scanning potential spouses just because he can fit a ring on it (finger). No, I’m not doing it. I will not marry to please society otherwise I would be misleading so many people that look up to me that it’s okay to succumb to the pressure,” Mampi says.
She adressed the issue of not having a child that society raises when single women reach a certain age.
“Another question is ‘when are you having a child?’ Honestly, just stop it. We are more than that. Yes, children are beautiful and mothering should not be limited to entering labour ward because being a mother is having a heart to raise a child which I am already doing. I am mothering my nephew whom I love whole heartedly which makes me a mother. I will not have a biological child whose father is not my husband. No. I am not doing it. As for many single moms, I have great respect for you as mothers hustling it out for those beautiful kids and my not having a child as a single woman is just a personal choice. I will not do it because this is me, and these are my principles and I live by them,” Mampi says.
She says she believes many single mothers became such not by design but were just victims of different circumstances.
“Finally for those that are still bothered about my marital status – I will get married and have children when God provides me with a suitable partner…and if not, I will stay happy knowing that my creator’s purpose for me is not just about marriage and kids because those are just blessings instead. For those that know me well , it is clear that I’m not moved by the world’s perception of me; if I did, I would have drowned in it, lost my way but NO, I know who I am. And for all you single women out there facing these challenges – do not allow society to define you. Only your creator has the final say in your life. Being single aint a crime so stay that way until God brings the right man; focus on your goals…,” says Mampi.