A 59-YEAR-OLD Livingstone social worker says love, when well nurtured, breaks tribal barriers, enhances social
development and eradicates gender-based violence.
In an interview after his wife, Frayor gave, this reporter access to her file which contains love letters written by him from Kabwe, Caleb Chabauni, who is Response Network’s buildings officer, said it was sad that the nation has seen an increase in divorces and gender-based violence.
“Zambia has in the recent past recorded a lot of GBV cases which have led to some couples resorting to killing their loved ones. We need to nature love by respecting our traditions and ignore tribal sentiments as is the case in the political scene. Love once well nurtured like I have done with my wife of 29 years it breaks tribal barriers and helps to enhance social development in the country and also eradicates GBV,” Chabauni said.
And Frayor Hiweemba-Chabauni, 51, who is a sponsorship officer at the same organisation,)
reveals that she had to use a pseudonym just to receive love letters from Caleb by using her best friends name but
added an initial F for her to know that such a letter was not hers.
“My uncle was very strict with me… so I had to use my friend’s name added with an initial F, but when my uncle saw that my friend was receiving too many letters with an initial ‘F’ he opened one and read it. He beat me up for this but I soon devised another system to get Caleb’s letters,” Frayor said.
“Caleb proposed to me in on December 5th, 1986 after I had written my Grade 12 exams…however, I was soon to be faced with another challenge in that most of my relatives were against my affair with Caleb because of his tribe, him being a Bemba but this did not deter me and this was soon to be water under the bridge because we officially married on October 29, 1989.”
In one of his love letters dated March 10, 1987, which she has carefully filed, it was discovered that Caleb blames Frayor for
not replying to his letters on time.
“I know there is pleasure and pain in love. But I am not interested in pain because I don’t like seeing my love in pain,” Caleb added.
In another letter, Caleb writes: “Genuine love is sacrificial and grows with time. It cannot be privatized…so from this love why don’t we open it, I mean can’t I make it official there at Nampundwe or Lusaka…at home here everybody is aware and have accepted you in our family…I must reassure you my love that I don’t want to disappoint you. There is no lady that I can go for. Nobody beats me to you, you are second to none,” Caleb wrote.
In another letter, Caleb says knowing Frayor was the best experience in his life.
In another letter dated July 7, 1987 Caleb writes: “Looking forward when the bells will ring for us and it won’t be long.
“Honey, I am not delaying everything. I am trying to put my resources together so that I can have you fast…every time you visit me the day is very much reduced to 4 hours instead of 12 hours…I know how much you feel my love because I have presented myself to your sisters and brothers. Wait patiently I will make the move soon…my love, my fiancée and my Mrs F. Chabauni,” he writes.
On November 18, 1987 Caleb wrote to Frayor saying: “Frayor I tell you, if ever I will live a life without you, my days will seem so empty and the nights will be so long.”
The Chabaunis have six children – Mutale, Debora, Nchimunya, Thelma, Letisha and Marie – and five grandchildren: Busisiwe, Lushomo, Luumuno, Fube and Lubomba