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Headline Matters with Chambwa: Vision 2021

THERE are very few people in Zambia and maybe elsewhere who spare time for ‘trivial’ issues; stuff like the number of minutes in a day or the number of hours in a week. A life of arithmetic can be exasperating! But the thing is that you take chances at your own peril; you may end up with a different age if you are mathematically loath.

Let me prove a bit of my mathematical prowess; 718 days from today, it will be Thursday January 1, 2021.

Another 940 days from today, it will be Tuesday August 11, 2021. I know some people are confused. But don’t be. Yet.

To anyone who is politically alert, they know that 2021 will be a watershed year, at least from an electoral standpoint. Actually, August 11 has been embedded in the amended Republican Constitution as a polling date in a general election. The controversy for 2021 is in the offing and might start showing later this year. But that’s not my business.

I sometimes squint in a wasted effort to see who is going to be on the presidential ballot in 2021. Maybe not so much wasted effort because I see ba kateka’s name, I see the treason with reason victim and I see another two discolored images of self-styled political heavyweights. But where are the rest of the political party presidents? Why is my vision this poor? Wait; I see another apparition.

Before 2021 itself, I see the treason without reason ‘villager’ crying foul some time later this year. It will be about an act of gerrymandering. Delimitation is coming where some of this country’s 156 constituencies will be divided. Imaginative souls are already pointing at which constituencies will be divided but let’s wait for the hullaballoo that this theoretically good process will bring. I’m not saying the treason without reason man likes to challenge everything; I just fear the trickery of ba kateka and his fawning choir. You may ask, will ba kateka’s teams be in charge of this delimitation? My apt response is a question! What are they not in charge of? They have a twofold task; enforcing and breaking the law! It depends on the situation and who is involved.
Just after the delimitation, it will be 2020 and human beings and buildings will be counted under a startling phrase of census of population and infrastructure. I see another interlude of questions without answers by the opposition parties. They will obviously allege a scheme by the governing party to rig the elections. I don’t know how, at least hitherto. Ah! Troubling us with grumbles all the time!

I have nothing against the opposition and perhaps they have all the right to raise accusing fingers at the light-fingered ruling monstrosities, whose freedom can only be tied to complicit governance institutions. So, what will be said before and during the census, including the profanities by that erstwhile darling of the system, is judicious and welcome. But equally, I should emphatically say that I have nothing personal against the ruling party.

But I’m digressing; I’m supposed to ‘show you’ 2021 in text and pictures. So while ba kateka, backed by an economically struggling constabulary and a well-funded but feeble campaign team, will be going round campaigning to survivors of desolation, some electoral irregularity will be cooking somewhere. But maybe the other camp (or even camps) has now acquired expertise to curtail sophisticated larceny. Again, I’m looking askance trying to form a clear vision about this issue!

Government public relations continue to tell all and sundry that ba kateka has brought unprecedented development in this country. I said public relations and so, well and good. The man will have everything to point at and credit to his name – roads, tollgates, airports, fire tenders, ambulances and what have you. He mustn’t just forget to remind citizens the price of every ‘developmental’ project of his! If he forgets, his third go at the presidency will be unsuccessful. Faulty political consultancy! Lol!

But ba kateka, don’t make the race an ethnic census. Let it just be a race to separate the hungry from the well fed.

For the treason without reason victim and any other fellow who might make it on the ballot, I have no political consultancy for you and it’s not deliberate. I’m simply dry! But whatever the case, strive to earn yourself a political grin afterwards.

This narration isn’t as intricate as real prophecy; it’s merely Vision 2021 and my account can be flawed. So no need to hate; you can dream yours and share it like I have done. Hahaha!

The next version of Headline Matters will be on Sunday.
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