Headline Matters with Chambwa…


Man is to masculine as woman is to feminine. The story is done! Men need Power to fully survive in this stressful world of loans, rentals, school fees, lobola, diapers, buying vokudya and the list of strenuous stuff goes on.

During the day most men are handling ‘heavy machinery’ work and some luck divas are busy executing white-collar duties, sometimes in air-conditioned offices. For those who are not in plush offices, at least their work isn’t so power-demanding. Yes, our women are so hard-working and at every point in time, I support a woman as opposed to a man. I’m genuinely proud about my penchant for them! I can never be a misogynist.

But the other side of me advocates justice and that’s why I sacrificed some of my bed time to write this column; to speak for men. Mind you, there’s no organisation in Zambia that dedicatedly speaks for men’s plight. I can’t manage to consistently do it! While I’m still at it, I must tell you that I’m aware about men who have white-collar jobs. But I contend that they still need to “use” Power because of one or two back-breaking responsibilities they have to do in the stuff I mentioned in the first paragraph.

For an average middle-aged woman in Livingstone, Lusaka, Choma, mining towns of the Copperbelt, Kabwe, Kasama, Solwezi, Chipata and every other town, day-time is for being in top-notch form – to look more beautiful. To be more forthright, some of the divas dress to ‘kill,’ if you know what I mean. Keep it up, sisters; that’s the only way men will continue aspiring for Power.

It needs no research for one to know that all men need Power. Go to west Africa; Nigerians are aspiring for Power, in Tanzania I’m told you can easily spot men chewing Power, especially in the evening. Lol! If it’s in the Democratic Republic of Congo, Power is glorified. Just look at how those traders at Mokambo border post near Mufulira mob whoever is in transit! The fellas know too well that umwaume ni Power! Power may be called differently elsewhere but the purpose is the same – to give power.
But in every struggle there are treacherous elements and equally in every struggle there are fatalities. It’s a fact of life! So, while Zambian men are going far and wide looking for and taking bits and pieces that can enhance their ‘muscle,’ including Power itself, some perfidious man in Uganda has complained that too much Power is bad for one’s health. His unmarketable and probably lousy complaint is that upon him testing Power from this Christian Zambia, he became too strong, more than he anticipated, perhaps. But look, when you take Power, you don’t allow it to get to your head, otherwise you’ll become big-headed and once the head becomes hard, without respite, you might visit a religious person you never imagined meeting in your life. I don’t know how the fellow from Uganda is doing. Too much Power makes a man feel more powerful such that they may want to remain on top for more than necessary. But you can only be in charge for a specific time to deliver and leave. A voter will only appreciate a powerful ‘leader’ upon entry and after some time, they want you down.

But whatever the case, let’s not blame Power to be a killer. With proper usage, Power can work wonders. All you have to bear in mind as you assume or is it consume Power is that “Power corrupts and absolute Power corrupts absolutely.” The Ugandan had absolute Power and we all heard his absolute complaint, all the way from east Africa. Hahaha! It seems the man wants to give a bad name to a good liquid; we shouldn’t allow it, guys. Why should some people start calling for the abolishment of Power? Yes, men are born with power but today’s divas are adventurous – they are usually on YouTube watching how it’s done elsewhere. So, when dealing with such stubborn ladies, Power comes in handy! You see.

Listen, this isn’t time for exhibiting shame. Natumane akapi and ensure that Power remains on the shelves. Before I pause, let me address my sisters; let’s speak with one voice and see to it that no government agency outlaws the use of Power. Don’t forget that Power is sweet and that’s why whoever is on top wants to alter the rules of the game and remain on top for a little longer; something like seven years, not a five-year term, as in the case of Zambia.

If Power is properly used, a five-year term can be satisfying and both the voter and the voted for will have a peaceful stay. In no time, the voter can start gaining because the governance is up-to-standard, food is readily available. Clap for Power!

So, should men avoid going for Power? I don’t know the response from stakeholders, women. But my modest social science tells me that what has to be done is a well-executed sensitisation campaign on radio, in newspapers and on television about proper use of Power so that no one becomes too strong or too powerful. A man with less power tefintu and some ladies, obviously, know this. Let’s just not abuse Power the way power is abused by African Presidents.

Ladies must not remain silent while men are waging this Power cold war. If they opt for silence, let it be so during heavy-petting when they discover that their man is powerless down there. Certainly, if Power is declared a life-threatening stuff and removed from circulation, most men will become poor and women will be the most hit by that poverty. Let’s unite and save Power! Blink, think; I’ve gone to try out a performance without Power. Ask me for results next week. #SavePower!

The next version of Headline Matters will be on Sunday.
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