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Fluke and setback

Headline Matters with Chambwa

By Chambwa Moonga
The day before yesterday (Friday), I celebrated my birthday. How old am I? Google has all the answers! But happy birthday to myself and congratulations, Chambwa, on your growing up. Whoever congratulates themselves is utterly stupid.

Listen to this: when the UPND loses an election, they tell us it’s because of thieves in the ruling party. Why don’t they catch them kaili? If their loss is not about theft, then it’s because the ruling party is in an unholy alliance with the Zambia Police! I can neither confirm nor deny the preceding FACT. Lol! UPND should tell us which elections it has lost genuinely. According to the UPND, the PF never wins but just steals. This kind of thinking leaves you dead!

But the PF hates pain. So, it congratulates itself for losing an election. Hahaha! All the party officials do when UPND wins a parliamentary seat, for instance, is to say ‘their victory is a fluke and our loss is a minor setback. We are gaining ground in the UPND stronghold.’ According to the PF, the UPND never wins an election, even in its strongholds. It just “retains” their seats. Something like ‘they didn’t win but they have just retained their seat.’ What is to retain, anyway? This kind of LACK of thinking makes you angry and then drives you into death. In the coiled vocabulary of the PF, the UPND retained the Katuba seat, via a parliamentary by-election and it (the PF) won the Lubwa ward by-election in Kitwe. Nonsense!

There’s no way your colleagues’ victory can always be equated to theft or linked to some alliance with the police. Equally, how can your colleagues’ victory always be a fluke and your loss always be a minor setback? There’s no fluke; there’s a WINNER of the Katuba by-election and the other party didn’t just suffer a minor setback – it actually LOST. I proudly come from Katuba; something like born and bred there.

When there’s an election, Zambians always speak using a ballot paper. Fluke or setback? Time will tell. It’s 731 days to August 11, 2021 – the polling day.

Yes, I’ve been too political, of late. So, next week there will be a hiatus from this political path; I’ll be calling out names of my CRAZY friends. You should Google their craziness. My article will be titled ‘Crazy friends’. Don’t be on that list!

For the next version of Headline Matters, check The Mast on Sunday. For reactions, text only to: +26 0977-238451

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