Me: Good morning, Sir. Is that Adam? I mean, Adam of the Bible?
Adam: Yes. What can I do for you, young man?
Me: Well I’m not really young, I’m, uh, fort… uh fift. Oh no! You are right. You‘re the first man God created, and I guess you must be very, very old.
Adam: Wrong. Here we live in eternity, so there’s no such thing as time and age.
Me: So, how is Eve? Umm…your wife.
Adam: My wife? Listen young man. This is heaven and there’s no such things!
Me: Oh, so you people just live like, uh… I mean without…
Adam: We are not people, we are spirits!
Me: Oh, yah, spirits. Like no hands, no toes, nothing. So you can’t hug and you can’t even see me.
Adam: No, we don’t do those things. But I can see you. You’re wearing a T-shirt written ECL. Inside it’s written HH. You’re a crook.
Me: I’m not a crook. This is how things act out here. I guess it’s because of what you did. Now tell me, how are you? How is life where you are?
Adam: How I’m? I’m nothing. Here we have everything and we have nothing.
Me: You’re confusing me, Adam. How can you have everything and nothing at the same time?
Adam: Because here we have no time. Everything here is One.
Me: Everything is one? Meaning what?
Adam: Meaning that everything goes back to the beginning, where there was nothing but Him.
Me: Him? Who’s he?
Adam: The One who was there before there was anything.
Me: Well, that’s interesting. I just called because people here have been talking about you for millennia.
Adam: Talking about me? Like what?
Me: Like Adam sinned and we are all born with sin. That he’s the cause of all the problems that the world is facing today. Problems like load-shedding, droughts, earthquakes, climate change, death, divorce, wars and all that stuff. But everything is summed up by one sentence; that Adam disobeyed God and then sin entered the world.
Adam: Sin? What is sin?
Me: Look, Adam, you’re the one that disobeyed God, so you should be the first person to know about sin.
Adam: I told you, I’m not a person, I’m spirit!
Me: Right. You’re spirit. I was saying that people here say you left us with problems when you disobeyed God!
Adam: You people can’t be talking about sin that was expiated before the foundation of the world.
Me: Expiated. Whao, what a word!
Adam: Yes, expiated. Ask your theologians. Look, you people have been able to split the atom, proved that the earth was round, and have stopped burning people at the stakes. You have invented the cellphone to talk to me like this, how could you be failing to solve simple problems like droughts and earthquakes?
Me: You’re right, we have made such great strides in science and technology. But we appear to be as primitive as you were. It’s actually these things that we have created that has caused us so much harm. The gun, industrial fumes and pollution, pharmaceutical products, the automobile, politics, all such.
Adam: Listen now, young man. What you call problems for humanity are actually mankind’s best stepping stones. Without them, mankind would be nothing.
Adam: Really. You know if you people had no problems, you wouldn’t have invented anything.
Me: So you mean that when you sinned, when you disobeyed God, that it was deliberate. You did
us a favour, is that what you mean?
Adam: Meanings are in people.
Me: You’re right, meanings are in people. But I still can’t understand why we need to have problems for us to achieve something.
Adam: Sometimes you don’t have to understand everything. Some things shall remain a mystery to all of us.
Me: Mystery. Like the mysterious serpent that tempted you. But why didn’t you resist the temptation?
Adam: Resist the temptation? That was part of the master plan. If I had resisted the temptation, you wouldn’t be talking to me now. But like I told you, some things are better kept as secrets throughout all ages.
Me: I guess you’re right. But what shall I tell people about you, as regards what they perceive about you?
Adam: Tell them I’m not the source of humanity’s problems, I’m actually their solution.
Me: You’re our solution because you sinned? Hallo? Adam are you there? Come on Adam, answer me this last time, Adam, please, please… Oh no…have run out of talktime!
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